Park Wars / Warner Bros. Cocaine-Brothel-Orgy Scandal!

Los Angeles - REUTERS

The chief CEOs of newly founded "Warner Brothers: Portico Cove" theme park in Vancouver, Canada, were yesterday in disgrace after being arrested in a seedy downtown LA brothel by the LAPD after an anonomous tip-off.

The CEOs; known only as "Iris" and "Natelox" to the associated press, were on a wild celebration after their park "Portico Cove" scooped top honours in a dark underground competition known only as "Park Wars", sources say.

Jetting to LA from Vancouver, the pair first hit the big LA clubs "Nemesis" and "Monsoon", where they were described by onlookers as "incapable and fucking rat-arsed". They then moved onto hip bar "The Living Room" but were denied entrance by the bouncers, who described them as "rowdy and looking for a fight". Sources say the person only known as "iris" threw a misdirected punch at the bouncer and ended up in the street gutter.

The pair then traveled by company limo to "Miss Suzy's Place", a seedy whore-house in the notourious downtown LA docklands area. Eye-witnesses say the pair staggered in and asked Miss Suzy for "four of her finest virgins". A fellow competitor in the "park-wars" competition saw the whole affair.

"Well, to be honested I really didn't know what to think", commented the competitor who wanted to be known only as "Tie". "I was at Miss Suzy's for.. um, to pick up my friend Kiri, who is Miss Suzy's... nephew. We had just travelled up from our park in California, "Tyline" after the awards ceremony to hit the clubs after Portico Cove swept the board. I let on to Iris when I recognized him but he told me to 'Fuck off', and Natelox just brushed past me without saying anything. I sat in the lobby waiting for Kiri to finish his business with Suzy when suddenly the door was kicked down and a group of armed LAPD officers ran in and went upstairs into the bedroom.

"I feared for Kiri, so followed them and well...when they stormed the room Iris and Natelox were occupying I was disgusted. They were both snorting what looked suspiciously to me like cocaine off either one of the virgin girl's breasts... I went back downstairs to find Kiri and Iris spat at me on the way out as he was strugling with the cops, shouting if I said anything to anyone he would hunt me down and torture me..." At this point 'Tie' broke down in tears and ended our brief interview.

As we went to print Iris was still being questioned by police. On being released, a ashen faced and embarassed looking Natelox didn't comment on his previous nights' drunken antics. As chief CEOs of a leading theme park which paramounts itself on family fun, we call for "Iris" and "Natelox" to resign from their lucrative jobs at Portico Cove, and to make a public apology for all the harm they did in this so called "celebration".

Yes.

Ban the bastards.

lol
i say bigs to iris and nate in this situation lol

cant beat a night out
its all sensationalism

You can hate me now! just know remember why you hate me! cause i beat your ass!

haha that was funny. its funyy how ty followed the plice up there

cool w00t

Public smear campaigns, I love it. Now this is really a competition.

Yeah..in my dreams..

BTW..like every1 is saying for me and adixs park....u got too much theming for a WB park..I think

That was the funniest thing I heard in a while. Good report Bocoson.

that made me wanna vote for them even more

they should be arrested and locked up
lol great story