General Chat / The Joke Thread

Didn’t find it in a search so I thought I’d start one. I have a story for y’all.


The Statues:

There once were two statues in a park, each made of stone: a male and a female.

One day, an angel came down and said: “The two of you have been so good, you can be living beings for five minutes.” As soon as the angel said this, the two statues came to life in flesh and blood. They looked at each other in wonderment, then darted into the bushes.

There was rustling of leaves, giggling, and all kinds of excitement and commotion. They appeared from the foliage, breathless and euphoric.

The angel looked at his watch. “You still have 2 and a half minutes.”

The woman looked at the man and said, “alright, this time YOU hold down the pigeon and I’LL shit on it.”

That's adorable.

lol

 

A high school kid went to buy his prom tickets and there is a really long line. Later on in the night he shows up with his date and there is a really long line to get inside. Once inside he goes to get himself a glass of punch,

 

and there is no punchline

i don't think i've shamelessly plugged myself on here in like 5 years so https://www.youtube....7GYArc-alo&t=1s

You had some funny jokes, there, Dr_Dude. I would say which ones I liked best, but I don't want to spoil it for anybody else here.