General Chat / Dating

Fisch, you just got Steve'd.

- be a patient

pa·tient
noun
1. One who receives medical attention, care, or treatment.
2. Linguistics A noun or noun phrase identifying one that is acted upon or undergoes an action. Also called goal.
3. Archaic One who suffers.



Some really great advice there Fisch.

I disagree Casimir, typing up a response right now

pa·tient
noun
1. One who receives medical attention, care, or treatment.
2. Linguistics A noun or noun phrase identifying one that is acted upon or undergoes an action. Also called goal.
3. Archaic One who suffers.



Some really great advice there Fisch.

I never even said that?!?!

- be patient

unless you edited it of course

Yeah I'm gonna second most of what has been said here. Sure, the most important thing is to be yourself; it's cheesy and true. However, that does not mean you need to talk about every aspect of yourself. It's not a job interview, as you equated it to. I dated my ex-girlfriend for three years and never showed her one of my RCT parks. I rarely ever even mentioned anything about RCT until later in our relationship. By that time she thought it was cool and was genuinely interested to hear about it. However, if I started the "getting-to-know-you" process by hyping up myself as an RCT player, I could guarantee you I would have never had a girlfriend at all haha.

I had been waiting for someone to give me stick or a response in general.
But I think you actually mistook a lot of what I said or I didn't express myself well enough.

Fisch,


Are you serious? How could anyone get an idea of what someone wants someone to be? Kumba, if you take anything from this thread, take this: BE YOURSELF. You're probably not looking for the girl of your dreams right now but love is patient. Be you and eventually the right girl will come into your life when you least expect it. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to be something you're not to get a girl.

For example this part is my fault. I meant that sentence to be kind of the start for what I said below it. Below it I tried to say be confident about who you are and what you do. A lot of guys always say stuff like "shit what do girls even want from a guy" after their latest date has failed once again. I was solely guessing that Kumba must've been doing something wrong and the first guess would always be going out of ones own way far too much for the girl.
That's why I said not to make a woman your life but let her take part in your life. That I meant as not dropping your hobbies in turn for hers, not trying to copy her interests, not doing only things she likes on the first date when you yourself really don't like it. So essentially I meant the whole "try to get a better idea of what a girl wants a guy to be like" as "be yourself because that's what a girl wants a guy to be like"/"get her interested in what you do instead of acting like you share everything when that's not even necessary even though a lot of guys believe so".
I mean how many insecure guys ask a girl out and when they get the yes they don't know where to go from there because they fear the girl might not share the same interests. Then they ask the girl for EVERYTHING she wants to happen on the date, what she wants to drink, if she wants him to wear brown or black shoes (exaggeration), etc etc to make it seemably perfect when that's not even what a girl wants. Because afterall the girl wants to experience the guy's personality once she's agreed to the date.

If you're in a relationship (especially if it's serious) with a girl you should always make sure she's top priority in your life. I mean, you say with love in general, so if I have a wife does that mean I shouldn't make her my life? Of course she is, what kind of logic is that?

Okay I guess I must retract my statement regarding "love in general" as far as married couples go. That's a very different thing. But if you're searching for a girlfriend, most people on this site will not be looking for marriage yet then I am 100% certain that you should not make a girl your life without offering anything to her. Again let me explain how I mean that:
Of course she will be top priority as she's your girlfriend but you've been living a life before her. And being yourself goes as far as not giving up on all your stuff just because you've met her (unless you move together or into her town are married - again those are exceptions). From what I've experienced in my life, from what I've read on internet dating guides, on dating forums where men give eachother advice, and what my best girlfriends have told me when we've been talkin about eachothers' love lives my point stands. And that point is that a girl wants a guy who lets her be part of his adventures instead of just living for the girl basically. Think about it. What does a loving girl benefit from more. A guy who takes her out with his friends, to his sports events, shows her what he's good at, protects her while they're experiencing wild things or a guy that doesn't offer much himself but solely cares about what she's doing, only waits for her ideas for a date, only relies on her opinion, etc.

Yeah, they do, but doing that on the first date strikes me as creepy territory and sends the wrong signal.

That is very wrong. You don't need to make it creepy. You can touch anyone without it being creepy when you first see them and especially on the fist date. If you do it right it'll 100% be beneficial. Why should it be creepy on the first date? If she agrees to a date then she must see the possibility you and her could work out and at least has some basic attraction. Otherwise she would come up with an excuse for the date or not even respond. I'm not saying pick her up at her house and hold hands from the first second till the last of the night. I'm only saying make smart moves with your hand, pet her on the back if she does anything well or badly and playfully comment on it, put your hand on her near shoulder if the moment allows it, put your arm around her back if you can (even if it's only for a bit cause you're not far enough yet for doing it longer). It'll get her aroused and make you seem confident.
That smart touching goes for partying at night of course when girls are a little more drunk or simply willing to experience something BUT ALSO for during the day anywhere at anytime...unless maybe you're in an elevator and she can't get out and you start touching her shoulder.

Its true that its been pretty proven girls go strictly to dudes who are dicks, but honestly, all men are jerks. I consider myself to be pretty nice and treat my girlfriend like a queen but I still find myself being an ass to her. Every girl is different, you just need to know what exactly she considers to be "dick moves." Girls don't really want a man to treat them poorly, or like they're lesser than you. Nobody would.

I treat my girlfriend like a queen too but I'm just saying don't always give up on your stance. In the next point I made I even said "women want to find their prince that is nice to them". I wasn't talking about calling them names and being a bitch about everything 24/7, you are right, nobody would do that, and if they did, it'd get them nowhere. What I meant was that a woman that guys would want to date usually has a lot of options and 99% of them are being the nicest dudes ever to her. She literally could pick a different dude to do her favors and still compliment them every day of the month. The 1% percent that is not doing everything for her is different and with different I mean has a higher chance of getting with her. That's also what I meant with people that are out of our league being the ones we aspire and the ones that are easy to get end up as friends. That's how a guy gets friendzoned, by giving too many compliments, and being simply too nice.

...what.

The part above should also adress this.

Being confident is great, but you should never make a girl think you're too good for them. How would you feel if they did that to you? You wouldn't waste your time, so why would she waste hers?

Have you heard of playing "hard to get"? It's a common dating technique and you act like you're out of the other person's league, that's what I meant, you could probably google it. Girls do it ALL THE TIME and I'm sure a lot of guys here know what I mean. And how that makes a guy feel? Well, take a good looking girl that's around a lot of people and shoots guys down and when you try to approach her she acts like she doesn't care much. By that she basically shows a higher fictional value even though you'll probably disagree with me here. But guys fall for shit like that and so do girls! The other way round, if you are too available, you will seem needy and will lower your dating value. A lot of people secretly crush on the arrogant school/uni/college girls while other cute girls are trying to get with them...but when that is the case mostly people will choose the one they can't get and keep trying.

This is actually good advice. And How I Met Your Mother is a good show, so I guess I can forgive you for being ridiculous.

thanks

It sounds to me like your 2 main personality traits being advertised are your interest in sports and video games. What girl is gonna be impressed by a guy who likes both of those? Talk about your college degree, skills (art/music/interesting things girls can relate to) and career, not your teenage hobbies that have carried into adulthood.

I don't want this to be a "try and give Kumba advice" topic.

It looks like it happened anyways

So wait, being the 2nd best RCT player of all time doesn't come with the burden of women waiting in line for you?

Why do I even play then?

I showed a girl DRC once and told her that I built it, and then she touched my ween. My bad Kumba.

So wait, being the 2nd best RCT player of all time doesn't come with the burden of women waiting in line for you?

it doesnt help him because hes second best, natelox is the one that gets all the women

I showed a girl DRC once and told her that I built it, and then she touched my ween. My bad Kumba.

signature-worthy.

Zburns999 you're a genius.

A woman ain't a job interview.
And don't use rct to impress, it's a bad choice.

Just be you, Kumba/Darren, that's the best thing you can do.

i sometimes wonder if anyone at this site has ever been laid

yup.

i sometimes wonder if anyone at this site has ever been laid

Clearly you havent

Kumba, I'm engaged now and have dated a lot. Trust me when I say my best relationships fell in my lap. The harder I looked, the harder it became to find someone who was what I was looking for. Took me years to learn, but now I know the best way to find that girl is to stop looking. Focus on living life for you, do the things that make you happy and make getting out of bed worth it. When a woman sees someone who is so genuinely happy in their skin living their life, she will be instantly attracted to that positivity. I've never dated for the hell of it, so I've got no advice on that scene (because I was busy out doing what made me happy). Think about why you're getting into dating, if its for the sport of it than by all means go for it. If you're looking for a serious relationship, I stand behind my own experiences. Don't make looking be your life. Its a waste of time.

btw...

Arrogant: "having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities."
Cocky: "conceited or arrogant, esp. in a bold or impudent way."

Just saying.

^^

You are sooooo right.

it doesnt help him because hes second best, natelox is the one that gets all the women

That does explain why nate isn't around much anymore..

Why are we all talking about dating anyway? Why would you waste your time having sex when you could be building rct, psssh.

^^ You're so funny.

Sex first, rct second.