General Chat / Dating
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16-February 13
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MorganFan
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I'll bite.
Me and this wonderful girl (let's call her Mary) have been together for almost 2 years (May 16th). And I can't begin to explain how I feel about her. It's a wonderful commitment with amazing payoffs, plus, she's funny, nice, gets my sense of humor/personality, is beautiful, and the sex is great. So what's not to love? We'll both be heading separate ways as Mary goes to Ecuador for a gap year and I head up to Colorado School of Mines this fall, but I'm not worried that she won't be faithful. She's completely trustworthy and I'm extremely lucky.
However, It's myself I don't trust. I don't know if I can go a full year plus four more of intermittent contact without branching out and exploring a little. I think I posted somewhere that I'm bisexual (or at least bi-curious; damn these hormones!) so I don't want to go my whole life without knowing whether I actually dig men or not, or am capable of feeling for them. I tried to bring up this topic with Mary and she couldn't believe that I would even think about exploring my sexuality while we were apart. She says that it wouldn't be fair to her. In my honest opinion, I think it's kind of selfish that she's saying that. It might just be that I'm short-sighted and I'm only out to please myself, but I think every human has the right to experiment with their own emotions. I know she expects that we'll settle down after all this long-relationship/college stuff and we'll get married in our late twenties, and to be quite honest, I'm expecting that too. But that's a long time from now. We've already been two years together, but that's like... six more. Mary's one of the only people who I feel completely comfortable and open with, and is one of the only real-life people who knows I'm bisexual. I thought she would be more understanding, but I guess not.
I hope none of this came off as whiny teenager crap, and if it does, I'm sorry. But to counteract the whiny teenagerness, just know that I voted in the last election. So hah!
Anyway...
Am I crazy? Is it fair that a man needs some time to think about his life before making an effort to stay celibate for four years (which could, in the long run, fail)? Or am I just being a stereotypical cheater manly-man who needs some discipline?
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Austin55
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So. back to relevance
I've had this one girlfriend for 18 months now and we're really getting anxious about sex n stuff. I want it, she wants it just as much. We're both virgins and know that sex is awkward the first time but we already know about as much as possible about each other sexually.
You did it bro. Grats.
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Dr_Dude
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i recently went on a date that ended with the two of us apologizing to eachother on fb so yeah, the love life is going great over here
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Coasterbill
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I don't know if I can go a full year plus four more of intermittent contact without branching out and exploring a little
Out of curiosity, how far apart will you be AFTER that initial year?
This comes down to a simple question though... what would you regret more? Breaking her heart and losing your relationship with her or not getting to explore your sexuality? I bet it would be the first one...
I think it's kind of selfish that she's saying that. It might just be that I'm short-sighted and I'm only out to please myself
We're gonna have to disagree on this one... I don't think she's being selfish at all. How would you feel if she was down in Ecuador "Experimenting with her emotions" as you put it? I'm assuming not so good...
This is your decision to make but make sure you don't do something you regret. If she's as great as you say she is then you probably don't want to screw it up.
swoopasaurus.
LOL!
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robbie92
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For those of you guys planning on long-distance relationships in the future, just be absolutely clear with the intentions both you and the person you're seeing have. In my case, the guy I was seeing was way less keen on long-distance than I was and called for a temporary "hiatus" while I was gone, so while I was at school just hammering through and counting the weeks until I was able to go home, he started seeing someone else and basically told me I was stupid for having assumed that nine months long-distance (with opportunities to see each other peppered in every two months or so) would've worked out; it's left me feeling pretty terrible and left me to re-evaluate my approach to relationships. He was the first person I really fell for, and even with three months to build the relationship before I went back to school, daily communication wasn't enough for him to stay through the relationship.
Long-distance only works as long as both people in the relationship can effectively communicate their desires for the relationship. Without that communication, there'll end up being heartbreak from one side or the other.
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Steve
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Am I the last person to find out that Rob is gay and we've been like best friends for forever and no one ever told me and I never even noticed like what the fuck is wrong with me holy shit. I'm not saying there's something wrong with it but I am shocked unless he made a bunch of typos or is fucking with me intentionally so in that case just ignore this but omg I am a terrible friend Rob I'm so sorryFor those of you guys planning on long-distance relationships in the future, just be absolutely clear with the intentions both you and the person you're seeing have. In my case, the guy I was seeing was way less keen on long-distance than I was and called for a temporary "hiatus" while I was gone, so while I was at school just hammering through and counting the weeks until I was able to go home, he started seeing someone else and basically told me I was stupid for having assumed that nine months long-distance (with opportunities to see each other peppered in every two months or so) would've worked out; it's left me feeling pretty terrible and left me to re-evaluate my approach to relationships. He was the first person I really fell for, and even with three months to build the relationship before I went back to school, daily communication wasn't enough for him to stay through the relationship.
Long-distance only works as long as both people in the relationship can effectively communicate their desires for the relationship. Without that communication, there'll end up being heartbreak from one side or the other.
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robbie92
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Hahaha, nah, I just always kept it quiet both on here and in real-life. That was probably the first time besides my response to Poke's topic where I just outright stated it. You're not a terrible friend at all.
