General Chat / The Google Brain

Fantastic Television presents...

FantastiCo sports logo
E.P.I.C. logo

Episode 56: “Samuel Richardson Appreciation Night”, this episode brought to you by “Samuel Richardson Brand Nuts”... now at your local grocer!

(Outside the Epic Arena, at the locker room entrance. A large number of security officials wait at their post. It seems there are many more than usual. An ambulance arrives and a motorized cart is seen near where the vehicle parks. K0NG exits from the back of the ambulance. He thanks Bob and Rob for the ride and get's in his cart.)
Security Officer 1: What happened this time Mr. K0NG?
K0NG: What? A man can't go to the hospital anymore without being bombarded by questions?
Security Officer 2: (Under his breath) he he, I bet he farted himself on fire..
K0NG: What??
Security Officer 2: Uh, nothing, I was just...
K0NG: Save it. And for your information, I overdosed on Pepto Bismol.
Security Officer 1: Again?
K0NG: Man, when you see the color of the dookie you're spitten out every 5 seconds you take drastic measures!
(The entire security team chuckles quietly.)
K0NG: Hey!... I... Shut up!
(The entire security team busts up loudly in laughter.)
K0NG (Attempts to drive his cart into the arena) Let me through!
Security Officer 1: Uh, just one second there Mr. K0NG, we have to check you, new policy, every one, no matter who, checked before entry now.
K0NG: Who set that up?
Security Officer 1: Mr. Richardson, sir.
K0NG: Samuel?... Screw Samuel! After he failed to take action on Rip Wrath, who dropped me a hundred friggen feet right through the octagon?? Tonight on EPIC, Samuel's gonna be my bitch! Now let me through!
Security Officer 2: Please cooperate Mr. D0N.. uh, K0NG sir...
K0NG: What did you just call me??
(Security Officer 2 begins sweating profusely.)
K0NG: You were about to call me D0NG!!
Security Officer 2: No sir! Oh mommy please don't hurt me!
K0NG: You're a little bitch!
Security Officer 1: Sir if you'll just,
K0NG: (stands up) Hurry the @#$% up!
(The security officers search K0NG, find nothing and let him through.)
Security Officer 1: (looks at Security Officer 2 who's now crying.) How did you get this job?


Opening Video: It is Extreme! (Giant 'E' is shown) It is Powerful! (Giant 'P' is shown) It is Intense! (Giant 'I' is shown) It is Courageous! (Giant 'C' is shown) It is E.P.I.C. Championship Cage Fighting!


(The inside of the arena is shown while the entire crowd chants EEPPIICC!! EEPPIICC!!A laser and fire works display goes off on the stage. Then the octagon ring posts shoot lightening. K0NG's music hits. The crowd cheers as K0NG quickly bursts through the curtain on his motorized cart. He's pissed. K0NG goes full speed and crashes into the octagon. (the cage isn't lowered yet). He yanks the mic from the ring announcer and enters the ring.)
K0NG: I AM K0NG!!
(Crowd explodes)
K0NG: (Looks around the crowd. He then nods his head.) You know what?... Samuel Richardson is a complete... absolute... son-of-a-bitch!
(Crowd cheers)
K0NG: The fact of the matter is, Rip Wrath threw me off a 200 foot high cage lowering mechanism. I should be dead and gone...
(Crowd talks among themselves)
K0NG: Considering the actions of Rip Wrath, wouldn't all of you agree that piece of sewer @#$% should have his ass fired??
(Crowd cheers)
K0NG: No, you know what our great general manager did?... he confronted Wrath, got his ass beat, and did nothing!
(Crowd boos)
K0NG: Well tonight... in case you haven't heard... it's Samuel Richardson Appreciation Night.
(Crowd boos)
K0NG: Apparently tonight is his last night... well... I'll show my appreciation to Samuel tonight... I'll do it by making him my bitch!
(Crowd cheers)
K0NG: Before the show is over tonight, Mr. Richardson get's his. (Drops mic, exits the octagon and leaves on his motorized cart as the crowd cheers.)





commercial: Samuel Richardson Brand Nuts
There's some nutty new nuts now at your local grocer! It's Samuel Richardson Brand Nuts! That's right! It's Samuel Richardson's very own recipe! Try 'em today! Samuel Richardson Brand Nuts!







be kind to eorth...



... she's kind to you...





(The commentators are shown at the announce table.)
Ken Wright: Welcome back folks, it's been mentioned tonight is the apocalypse...
Susan West: We promised a number of apocalyptic announcements. Samuel Richardson will give his farewell speech tonight as rumored. The General Manager has made it known tonight is the last time we will see him on EPIC television.
Ken Wright: Also tonight, it is “Samuel Richardson Appreciation Night”. We will have a number of EPIC Octagods expressing their appreciation for Mr. Richardson.
Susan West: Not only that folks, get ready for this, you may be wondering... Who is the new General Manager of E.P.I.C. Championship Cage Fighting?
Ken Wright: It will be decided in an eight man single elimination tournament, here tonight.
Susan West: here are the brackets...



Ken Wright: Stay tuned folks. Our first match is next!





... to be continued.

H2H will decide the outcome of the first match, right? ;p

no way, rct is for little girls. E.P.I.C. Championship Cage Fighting is for real men.

You are truly one weird mother fucker. No offence intended.

Fantastic Television Segment: hello everyone. it's the hacker here, and it's good to be back. as you see this typed, on Fantastic Television, this is an announcement as i have just recently been employed by FantastiCo. if you don't know who i am, you should only know i love FantastiCo. it is a great company and CEO FantastiCo is a great boss. so join me here on Fantastic Television as i'll be doing some great segments during commercial breaks! i'll be showing the first seen RCT work of the man himself, FantastiCo! here's a preview!!



a FantastiCo recreation of an eorth desert? gotta love those RCT3 curves! Well, now, back to the show!!!>>>>>>>>pleh911.

---

(Ken Wright welcomes viewers back to the show and a replay is shown of K0NG before the break, stating tonight he's going to make Samuel Richardson his bitch.)
Ken Wright: What do you make of this situation, Susan?
Susan West: Well, first K0NG arrives back from the hospital, again, only to find Samuel Richardson has set up a higher level of security for the arena tonight. Already things are fishy, but after K0NG is checked by security and pissed off, he comes out saying the COO should have fired Rip Wrath for his actions at Ep!c Fr!day, didn't, and tonight, K0NG's going to make Richardson his bitch. I think Samuel's in trouble, Ken.
Wright: Maybe.. maybe. Perhaps Mr. Wrath should watch his back as well. But ladies and gentlemen, time now for our first match of the evening. This is round one of our 8 man tournament to decide the new COO.. and it's “The Ultimate New Element Nerd” Liampie verses none other than “The Man, The Myth, The Monkey” K0NG himself.

(The camera's pan around the octagon and show the octacage has not been lowered.)
Ring Announcer, Cherry: AAAnd now!! (crowd cheers)... E.P.I.C. Universe are you ready?? (crowd chants YES!YES!YES!)... Then it is time.. to lower the structure of total horror agony pain and suffering and torment so dudes can feed their families!! (crowd goes silent)... lower theee octacage!! (crowd explodes)
(The octacage lowers and surrounds the octagon.)
Wright: It stands 15 feet high and is made of chain link fence and steel. There's a 10 foot space between the octagon and surrounding cage. There is no roof and barbed wire lines the top. Susan, this structure is strait from the depths of hell.
West: No doubt about it!
(Cherry introduces Liampie who makes his new entrance themed to Harry Potter. Cherry then introduces K0NG who makes his entrance on his motorized cart. The match went back and forth until K0NG began giving Liampie wet willies. Liampie warns K0NG he'll whip it out if he has to...)
Wright: What's he mean “whip it out”??
(Liampie pulls out his light saber.)
West: Oh no!
Wright: Liampie has pulled out his light saber!!... and it's.. pink??
(Liampie kicks K0NG in the balls. Then, as K0NG lay in agony, Liampie climbs the octacage and wraps his light saber with barbed wire and returns to the incapacitated K0NG. It looks like Liampie is going to massacre K0NG, when the ape-man suddenly rolls his opponent into a small package for the 1,2,3!)
West: Amazing!
Wright: K0NG was playing possum the whole time!
West: Of course! He's that friggn tough!
Wright: You know Susan, you sounded cute when you said that. Anyway, K0NG has a mic! We'll hear what he has to say next!

---

commercial: Samuel Richardson Brand Nuts
There's some nutty new nuts now at your local grocer! It's Samuel Richardson Brand Nuts! That's right! It's Samuel Richardson's very own recipe! Try 'em today! Samuel Richardson Brand Nuts!

---

(Back from break and the crowd chants “3-0-6! 3-0-6! 3-0-6!”)
K0NG: You know somethin K0NGamaniacs!!?
(crowd cheers loudly)
K0NG: I might break something every time I take a shower or use the toilet, but I'm still the biggest!! (crowd cheers).. I'm still the baddest!! (crowd cheers).. and.. I can still kick the ass of anyone on the planet! (crowd cheers) Tonight... it's Samuel Richardson Appreciation Night and his last night here at EPIC... I'll show plenty of appreciation tonight, because I appreciate the hate I have for both Rip Wrath (crowd boos)... and Samuel Richardson (crowd boos). And tonight... they both join the club... the "K0NG'S BITCH CLUB!" (crowd explodes.) (K0NG's music hits and he exits.)
Wright: Ladies and Gentlemen, I am just receiving word Samuel Richardson has arrived to the building! Let's go to E.P.I.C. Reporter, Chow Main who is outside the arena!

(A large black stretch limo pulls into the exclusive entrance for the COO. The camera's zoom in on the door as the car parks. Then, the door opens and Samuel Richardson steps out with a huge smile on his face as the crowd boos loudly.)
West: Why is he smiling? He's been on suicide watch all week!
(Chow Main approaches the COO.)
Chow Main: Mr. Richardson. As you can see I am very Asian. But tonight, all eyes are on you. What do you have planned for your last night on EPIC Television, and your last night in charge of EPIC?
Samuel Richardson: (stretches while still showing a huge smile. He then checks out Chow Main. He begins looking her up and down. The crowd shutters.) I'll tell you, Chow... you look good.
Chow Main: Uh... thank.. you.
Richardson: (Looks at the reporter with a strange look on his face) did you know me and my wife have never had kids?
Chow Main: Mr. Richardson..
Richardson: Well.. you do look good.. and I look good.. and that's just how I'm going out tonight Miss Ma-
Chow Main: Mrs.
Richardson: (clears his throat) I... I, Samuel Richardson, am going out looking good... Here tonight... on the apocalypse!! (crowd is heard yelling various insults.)
(after standing still and smiling for a moment, Samuel finally moves on.)
Wright: What was that all about??
(The COO then attempts to make his way into the arena but security stops him. Samuel stops smiling.)
Security Officer 1: Sir. I need your cooperation. If you would please, Mr. Richardson.
(Richardson stares at the officer. Security Officer 2 looks at both men.)
Richardson: Uh, listen... Joe, uh, John, Jack..
Security Officer 1: Keith.
Richardson: Right. Uh, listen. Do you understand who I am?
Security Officer 1: Yes sir. You're the COO.
Richardson: Very good Joel!.. I am the COO, Samuel Richardson, and let me inform you Jillian, the night isn't over yet. I am still COO, and could still... (Samuel grabs the officer's shoulder)... fire your ass right here tonight (crowd boos). Now tell me... what ignorance in your head gave you the balls to stop ME. AND TELL ME. THE COO NEEDS TO BE SEARCHED??
Security Officer 1: Um, they were direct orders from you... sir.
Richardson: (stares at the officer)... you make it quick and know... that was a test. Congratulations. You passed.
Security Officer 1: Thank you sir.
(The officer's search the COO and let him through.)
Security Officer 1: Hey Carl. Check this out (Keith pulls out a folded up piece of paper.)
Security Officer, Carl: What's that?
Security Officer, Keith: I swiped it off our bald headed friend, (making fun of Richardson's voice) the COO, Samuel Richardson!
Carl: Ha!
Keith: I bet it's one of his cheesy poems!
Carl: hehe, read it!
(Keith opens the paper and reads it silently first. His face goes to sudden and total shock.)
Carl: What??... What is it??
Keith: It's...
Carl: What?
Keith: It's not a poem... it's a note.
Carl: A note?
Keith: yeah...
Carl: Well... to who?
Keith: To...
Carl: To who??
Keith: To... the late... Jack... Daniels.
West: Oh, Jack Daniels who was murdered by an unknown assassin!
Carl: Holy $#@%.
(Keith continues looking shocked as does Carl.)
Carl: What does it say?
Keith: Well...
Carl: Read it!
Keith: It says... it says, (Keith wipes sweat off his forehead, takes a deep breath and finally reads the note)... Dear Jack... The...
Carl:...
Keith:... The Google Brain is 100 % complete.
(both men looked at each other puzzled)
Keith: Signed... (breaths quicker and finally spits it out)... signed... Timothy... Cross.
(Both officers look stunned.)
Wright: Um...
West: Uh... we'll be right back folks...
Wright... this... is...

---

Ftv Segment: hello everyone. the hacker here with another great RCT screen made by FantastiCo! this one is great! it looks like Fantastic Wonders! "Live the Fantasy! Experience the Wonder!" And oh, what a fantastic wonder this is!!



---

commercial: Samuel Richardson Brand Nuts
There's some nutty new nuts now at your local grocer! It's Samuel Richardson Brand Nuts! That's right! It's Samuel Richardson's very own recipe! Try 'em today! Just try a taste of Samuel Richardson's very own nuts! They're big and salty! Samuel Richardson Brand Nuts! Now at your local grocer.

---

(Cherry announces the next match in the eight man tournament to decide the new COO for EPIC. First, she introduces the black guy who comes out to R & B music. He stops on the stage with a mic and sings along in a really girly voice. At the end he does this Whitney Huston riff and the crowd kinda cheers. Then John Cena makes his entrance to his crappy rap music as the crowd boos. Cena has a bucket of KFC. He hands it to The Black Guy who thanks him kindly and begins chowing down in the middle of the octagon. John then climbs to the top of the cage lowering mechanism.)
West: What's John going to do here??
Wright: He must be 800 feet high!
(Cena suddenly leaps off as the crowd shutters. The Cameras go back to showing The Black Guy enjoying his chicken.)
The Black Guy: Yo! Yo! Yo! WoooWeeee! Somebody call my Mamma! Dis be finger lick'n' good! Word up G! JC's my dog!
(Then, with a thunderous force, Cena blasts down on The Black Guy, the entire octacage shacking viciously!! The crowd explodes! 1,2,3!!)
Wright: John Cena victorious!
West: It's K0NG and Cena in round two for COO of E.P.I.C.!
Wright: John has a mic!
Cena: You know what I guess I've finally earned the respect of the EPIC Universe by showing I got more guts than sense but what I just did you guys seemed to enjoy (crowd cheers then erupts into a “Let's go Cena!” chant). You know, I'm the best at everything (crowd begins quieting down), I'm a genius, and compared to well, you ugly people (crowd erupts in boos)... well, you see, when I look around the crowd I see the demographic for EPIC consists of extremely fat and overweight chili dog contest champions who can't even budge without ripping a tut first. (crowd continues it's high volume booing as John Cena smiles. Crowd then erupts into a “Cena Sucks!!!” chant.) Compared to you mammoths and whales, I mean to say, I'm already extremely good looking and handsome and in good shape, so compared to you all, I must look like a god... (suddenly a full beer can comes flying out of nowhere and decks Cena in the side of the head.)(Cena shakes it off and looks around)... whoever did that, I demand security find him and remove him or you will personally deal with me. (Security does nothing.) Now, what I guess I'm also supposed to do tonight is show my appreciation for Samuel Richardson (crowd continues booing. A fan is heard shouting “Shut the hell up!”)... First of all, his nuts taste awful (crowd erupts in now deafening boos)... Sure they're big and salty... they're also really oddly colored and crumbly... (crowd continues booing.)
Unseen Voice: Hey, Cena.
(Cena looks around as the crowd talks. He attempts to figure out where the voice is coming from. Suddenly, the lights rapidly dim and the crowd explodes!)
Wright: Oh my!!
West: Could it be??
Unseen Voice: You know Cena... I know you've been looking to challenge me to a match... You also know I am the locker room leader... and my people look up to me because I wear a cape and have super powers. Well Cena... (the crowd is now excitingly cheering and talking) I'm not that hard to find.
(Suddenly Posix flies down onto the stage from the rafters!!! The crowd explodes into a massive chant, “Posix!!! Posix!!! Posix!!!”)
Cena: Posix!!! You get the hell out of here!!! This is my mic time and once again you have to have your say in everything!!!
Posix: Shut the hell up Cena! You know we have to settle this issue once and for all! And we don't settle this tomorrow, we don't settle this later tonight, we settle this right here! Right... NOW! (Crowd explodes! Just then the arena goes completely dark! Not a thing is seen as the crowd first erupts then excitingly talks.)
Wright: What's going on here!!!
West: What... in... the world is going on here?... What. On. EORTH???
Wright: I don't like this Susan... I'm scared.
West: Hold my hand Ken.
(And then, a rumbling sound begins and slowly grows louder. Suddenly, clouds begin to fill the top of the arena. The rumbling now at it's loudest and lightening begins to form and the crack of the thunder shocks the crowd with violent awe and panic!!! Just then, there he appears on the octatron big screen! The crowd erupts into boos!!
West: Holy!!... a... smokes!!! There he is Ken!! It's him! FantastiCo!
Wright: Yeah there he is... his face like always, covered completely by his hair and the man is just plain creepy Susan!...
Susan: He is Ken, he makes me quiver... it's FantastiCo ladies and gentlemen...
(FantastiCo tilts his head slowly than violently jets his head forward with his hair flying and the crowd goes suddenly silent. Everything freezes. The screen goes blank.)



to be continued...

I feel like I'm not getting a whole lot of hidden messages and humor.
But anyway, I guess the screens look 'oke', lol.
I really don't know what I should think of this.

it's just supposed to be stupid.

check it out, pretty soon the hacker is gonna get murdered! here tonight, on the apocalypse!

My imaginary friend was a virus within the cyberspace of brains connected to the internet via neurological implants. A prophecy, called “the oracle” noted that though I entered my own creation to kill the virus, I would not defeat him. And I did not as we faced each other in the final battle between good and evil at the EPIC arena where he uncovered the hair from his face to reveal that he was me. He then grabbed hold of me and destroyed us both via his silly powers and I awoke to the Oracle which was a living person as the room we were in slowly crumbled as the Oracle told me that my imaginary friend was actually my own schizophrenia. I then awoke to see on my computer monitor that a virus had just been killed by AVG free of all things. Welcome back to earth. - the end.

(Crowd erupts in thundering applause)

I agree. Dumb story. The product of a schizophrenic drug addict. Just thought someone could use a laugh amidst all the stupid garbage going on in the world at present.

sounds like snow crash

I think I saw there was a movie or show called snow crash on hulu a week or two ago. Never seen it. Not sure what it’s about. I barely watch TV. Is it new? I wrote this silly thing a long time ago. It sucks because I just made it up as I went along. Started as a legit park thread and drugs took over my brain and things went haywire. Good to be sober now. I write better.

snow crash is a book by neil stephenson. was into that kind of scifi in high school, a bit over the style now but its a fun read

Neurological Super Computer Earth



Brains hooking up to the neurological super computer earth and mark zucchini runs the ship. Once, there were milk truck drivers for people who were alive. Now there’s only dead, digital people and world-wide viruses. Eating up the oxygen.



Written by Papyrus:

Dyad... ?... of Weed... … and Seed…