General Chat / Story Time

Since I seem to get into all sorts of shenanigans that are worth retelling, and I figure most of you do, I'm going to start this thread. These stories have to have happened to you. (Oh, and if the moral of your story is: I was SOOOOOOOO drunk last night, save it for study hall or your fraternity brothers.)

Starting off simple.

I walked into the school I work at being well rested for once. Because I was in such a keen state of awareness, I felt it was my duty to inform one of the teachers that he had a black smudge on his forehead.

It was Ash Wednesday.


----------

I needed to get some food for my darling bitch of cat, Queen Latifah, so I stopped at Petsmart. The guy at the counter seemed a bit weird, but he said hello so enthusiastically that I couldn't really avoid responding. On the way out, he scans all of my items and while I'm waiting for the credit card go through, he looks at me with a meek smile and a shake of the head and says "...One of those days."
No way out until I get my receipt. God forbid one of my $.40 cat food cans needs to be returned. "Yeah, tell me about it."
"I just knew it was going to be a bad one when I woke up this morning."
I should have known to leave this conversation alone, but I had to ask. "Oh? What makes you say that?"
"Well, I knew it would be a bad day today when I woke up and found that I had carved someone else's name into my leg."

Luckily, the credit card transaction had processed by this point.

story 1 - epic fail

story 2 - wtf lol

ahaha what is it with petsmart and their creepy workers?


but oh man, i've got some crazy stories recently.
i'll just tell the most recent one from a week and a half ago [the weekend of the 2nd]

My band was booked for a show in Cape Coral on Friday, April 2nd. We werent able to use our trailer, so we were forced to take two seperate cars across the state. [Palm Beach is on the eastern coast of Florida, Cape Coral is on the west. its close to 3 hours drive]
I took my Civic, [which by the way, Hondas are insanely reliable. you'll learn the moral behind this soon], and my guitarist Bobby took his Ford Explorer.
Now, Bobby JUST had the entire transmission replaces in his Explorer, not to mention an entire front end rebuild under the hood.
so we were off from Palm Beach and drove an hour west to my hometown, Clewiston. We ate mc donalds there, and then were on our way to the show.
When we got about 30 minutes away from the venue, Bobby calls me and told me to turn around because his car was overheating.
When i get there, we look under his hood and the entire belt completely came off. We must have spent almost an hour trying to put it on. He called a towtruck driver to come get us, so we were literally towed to the show. [All this time, our bassist had a face drawn on his chest and was flashing all the passing cars to kill time]
So we get to the show, and since we were about an hour late, we had to unload and play right away.
We played a tight set, and won the crowd over. It was amazing:]
After we played, some kid got hit by a car in the parking lot, and you could see straight to the bone.
It was his fault though, because he kept running in traffic lol.
We packed everything up and were about to leave, but then we completely forgot about our vehicle situation.
Since Bobby's car was broken down, and we all couldnt fit in my little civic, let alone with the equipment, we were stuck in a strange town with nowhere to stay.
Just when we were prepared to sleep on the beach, a local band offered for us to crash at their place.
We figured we might as well, so we went with them to their drummer's girlfriend's house.
Okay now do the math.
12 guys + 1 bed + 2 couches.
Not going to happen easily or non-homosexually.
But thats besides the point. We didnt even really sleep much that night anyways.
Turns out the band that we stayed with was effing CRAZY.
Like, mentally insane crazy.
We were kept up by them running around the pool in their undies chasing eachother and pushing eachother in.
Gayest thing i have ever seen.
I was sleeping on a tile floor and my phone was dead so i couldnt even call or text my girlfriend.
So miserable.
It was 3:45 in the morning, and me and the dudes in my band just finalllly starting to fall asleep. All of a sudden, i was woken up by the lights flickering on and off.
I look up, and see the drummer from the other band wearing an Alien mask, and with no clothes on whatsoever. save the little black sock he had wrapped around his wang.
He was like twitching and crawling around the floor trying to screw with us.
Bobby got pissed because we were all so tired and had a bad day, so he waited for the kid to get near the pool, and he sparta kicked him in.
They were quiet the rest of the night, so we got some rest lol.
The next morning, Bobby and Tom [the vocalist] took the car to AAA and got it repaired.
While they were gone, i get a phone call from a booker asking us if we could play a last minute show that night in Naples, which is like 30 minutes south of where we were. [and coincedentally where Steve was staying that weekend. except for the fact that he was in Orlando on the two days that we were actually there. little prick haha]
So we agreed to play, since we were getting paid.
We had no idea what to expect when we were on the way to the venue. We had no idea what kind of place it was, so we were just hoping it would be decent.
We pull up to a freaking CASTLE.
No joke, this place was a legit castle.
It was called King Richards, and it was a Castle themed mini amusement park. There was a massive indoor arcade, as well as mini golf and several go kart tracks outside.
We had like 3 hours to kill before soundcheck, so we then proceeded to bribe the go kart operator with cigarettes and hugs in order to be let on the go karts.
He agreed to let us ride them all day for free, so we did that until show time.
When we actually played, the stage was MASSIVE.
It was like one of those huge outdoor stages that they have at festivals like Warped Tour.
Amazing set haha.

If you guys dont believe me, i'll link you to our update video from that weekend lol.
Granted, it doesnt show all of the events that took place, but it gives you a general idea of what went down haha.

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=sepTxOXSx58

Ford- at least they circled the problem.

ford is crap.

Buy a Ford cuz they're the best, drive a mile and walk the rest
or
F.O.R.D. Fix Or Repair Daily

I know.......they're old but, so am I.

I lol'd at the guy who drew on himself on the highway that waa funny

lol its a bit immature, but oh well. its all in good fun.

we just played a show last night here in palm beach, and surprisingly, nothing went wrong for once!

one of the bands hopped on stage with us for our last song though lol. it was hilarious. there was like 11 dudes on stage, and they took the mics from us and started screaming our lyrics haha

lol @ "Sparta kicked"

I'll have to type up one of my longer ones. There's one that spans two full days. And a serious one that's not so long.

oh god, im gonna have to post something... could be therapeutic.

Not to let this thread die, I give you this gem about one of my former roommates, Rich.

...


(It be helpful to understand the setup of the room to get how small it really is, so rather than explain, here's an MSPaint drawing. I'm quite proud of it. ...)

Back when the first part of this story occurred, I kept very late hours and my roommate (shared room) turned in pretty early. One night, for no particular reason at all, Rich came in and announced to all of us that he "just wanted to get drunk" at about 11:00. 4 beers and 30 minutes later, Rich went to bed. Okay then.

About 2 AM, I was still sitting at my computer desk, probably refreshing facebook every 30 seconds, when Rich gets up. He stumbled around the room almost randomly until he found what I assume he thought was the bathroom door, but in my reality, he was just feeling around on top of his wardrobe and eventually got one of the doors open. He puled around to the front and stepped into the corner made by the now-open door, and starts fiddling around with his pants.

"Rich! What the fuck are you doing?"

He turned to look at me and just stared blankly for a few seconds before responding.

"...I wasn't gonna piss!"

And with that, he moved quickly out the door and I assume everything else went swimmingly. I heard the next day he got lost coming back from the bathroom and ended up in my female roommate's room, but everything ended up in the toilet, so I considered this a successful intervention.



Fast forward a few months, and our sleep schedules had completely flipped. He stayed up late to drink every night, and I was in bed pretty early to get up for an internship every morning.

On this particular night, Rich had invited some friends over. I was in bed by 11, and he was apparently too drunk to host his friends by 11:30, but his absence didn't keep them from blasting shitty music in the living room to ruin any chance I had of sleeping. He comes into the room and things quiet down a bit in the living room. His friends have enough respect to turn the music down for him, but not me. Assholes.

I finally dozed off and started having some of those intensely vivid dreams you get when just falling asleep/waking up. These kind of dreams always confuse the shit out of me, so didn't think anything of it when my dream turned to the sound of pouring water in my darkened bedroom. Wait...

I looked around in a panic only to find Rich standing at the foot of my bed in front of my dresser. "Rich! What the fuck!?" The only logical reaction.

Rich's response still baffles me to this day. Still pissing in my sock drawer, he looked me dead in the eye and said as if to make me feel stupid for not knowing such a well known fact, "NFL!" and walked out of the bedroom and into the bathroom.

He claims not to remember any of this, so I tell the story to every one of his friends. Fair is fair, motherfucker--I had just done laundry.

ROFL!

pahahah

today my music class was recording the gcse compositions. it's about a third of our grade, so its quite important and must be done and recorded correctly to get these grades.
me and my friend decide to hi5 when my teacher say's "end of recording" but the tape was still rolling, causing him to turn around looking murderous. we also found some soft pornogrophy on this particular friends sisters usb. somthing which has fuel banter for the rest of today, and probably re rest of his life as his sister is ridiculously hot.

I blew fire tonight. No lie.


(There's video evidence, but I don't know the guy that took it. I'll work on it.)

Edited by Midnight Aurora, 01 May 2010 - 01:02 AM.

I spent Wednesday in the ER. No joke.

I spent Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday in the ER. No joke.

Really? If you are being sarcastic, that's really not funny.

no, i'm not being sarcastic man.
i was really there for several days.

what were you there for?

Sorry to hear that bro.

I was in there because of my diabetes and anemia. I have this rare "condition" called thiamine-responsive megaloblastic anemia with atypical diabetes. (google it). Normally, it doesn't really affect my everyday life as long as I take the thiamine (B1) pills and my insulin. But I had been sick since Saturday night, and my blood sugars were in the high 300s/low 400s, I was spilling a lot of ketones and sugar, and my A1C was 15. None of that is good. And my anemia was acting up and making my hemacrit drop. Plus I was apparently severely dehydrated. So yeah all that added up to an ER trip.

Edited by Dark_Horse, 01 May 2010 - 10:07 PM.

^That's not a "story"...

It's a cry out for sympathy.

Read the fucking title here.