General Chat / Dear Canada,

there's a reason you're north of us.

as our top hat, you'll always be considered the 49th state (Utah and Rhode Island don't count). the reason you haven't been given an invitation to join our most sacred union is that we are both considered male countries. until God himself descends from Heavens and declares love between two men a holy blessing, then you are out of luck. i will not burn in Hell for your phyisical attributes, mister!

Canada has offered us so much, yet continually is the butt of jokes worldwide. for instance, who doesn't poke fun at your hilarious dialect? i can't think of a single person who doesn't find that amusing. in spite of this, you still live your lives carefree... or without care, if you will. what keeps you going, Canada? is it the healthcare system? does everyone in Canada have an enormous amount of vitamins, taken twice daily, just because they're free? is that your secret?

perhaps the answer lies in the bagged milk phenomenon. i mean, seriously, who drinks milk out of a bag! is your milk too good for a carton? or even a plastic jug? are there genetically altered cows that spew some sort of super milk that is the end-all meal drink? secrets, tell me your dirty secrets, Canada.

i don't understand how a people with "mounties" as their principle defenders can be so nonchalant. they ride on horses! do they even carry firearms? or somesort of primative wooden club? mounties remind me of the hall monitors back in elementary school: they have the title, but have no real authority... though, the uniforms are wicked. and you're counting these scrubs to protect you from a terrorist invasion? all the terrorists have to do, sir, is get in a raft [because there are no terrorists in the U.S. of A (thank you Mr. President!)], travel across the ocean to the Greenland coast, and walk right into your so-called country!

though, i do give you mad propz for having two languages as your own. bravo, Canada, bravo. this is a BRILLIANT tactic! with French given the distinct honor of sharing the national spotlight with the far superior English language, the terrorists will be so confused they might think twice about messing with you. while i admire you defense strategy, i question your allegiance to the United States. French? come on! you might as well have chosen Chinese (those dirty commies...)! as our commander and chief once said, "if you're not with us, you're against us."

on the other hand, you did give us Canadian bacon... so let's just consider this your one freebie.

Edited by Tyler, 01 February 2007 - 03:09 PM.

That pretty much sums up everything I don't like about your country.

Why the fuck did you post this here... you know it's just gonna be a bitchfest from here on out with this topic open.

Was that custom written or pulled from somewhere else? If it's original content, I think it's a pretty funny satirical piece. You know... written for humor? Not meant to be taken seriously?

Bagged milk? I have never seen it, but it sounds pretty cool, and our dialect is similar to every other english speaking people, to tell you the truth, I have never heard someone say "aboot" except on T.V.

to tell you the truth, I have never heard someone say "aboot" except on T.V.

Damn South Park movie... wait... what the hell am I SAYING?!?!?!?

Look, if you have anything against french language, then don't post it here because I'm
speaking french and I'm leaving in Canada. At least, I don't post what every country
other than U.S.A think about your country.

This topic is so unuseless, this should be in a freetalk forum, because I take it as a joke,
really.

Ps. We won't be revealing any of our secret.

French comedy, it is weird and screwed up at times, I LOVE IT, ever seen the movie Amalie? Genious. I have seen the South Park movie (blame Canada one) and I loved it, it was hilarious, offensive comedy at is animated peak.

Unfortunately bagged milk isn't a phenomenon isolated to Canada...the school system here tried bagged milk for a year or so in their cafeterias. Not sure the whole point of it though.

congradulations

Unfortunately bagged milk isn't a phenomenon isolated to Canada...the school system here tried bagged milk for a year or so in their cafeterias. Not sure the whole point of it though.

Yeah, I remember they started using it about midway through elementary school. I already didn't like milk (and still don't), but that just made it all the nastier. If Canada is indeed responsible for that, they should be ashamed. Very, very ashamed.

Is this a campaign speech?

I'm leaving in Canada.

This topic is so unuseless

'nuff said

Hey, Natelox, I've got a spare sense of humour in my car if you want it.

Look, if you have anything against french language, then don't post it here

it's not that i have a problem with the French language, sir. i have a beef with the French people. the "Frenchies" nearly tore our country apart! it was so bad that we had to rename a popular fast food item to "Freedom Fries" (even though it it a superior name) because people were actually running in terror at the slightest mention of the French cuisine. you have no idea the pain it caused! there are still clinics set up for counseling victims.

I'm leaving in Canada.

so are you or are you not in Canada? make up your mind, we're at war! it's fence-sitters like you who can't even decide what country they live in or what language they speak that are ruining The Greatest President Ever's plan for success. pick a side and stick to it... as long as it's our side.

This topic is so unuseless

finally! someone who gets it!

We won't be revealing any of our secret.

it's Degrassi, isn't it? that's your secret. i knew it! i should have never stopped watching that show... it was a masterpiece, i tell you!

I think we can all be sure that whoever wrote it, its meant as a "satirical piece", and no one should be getting offended by it.

I found this quite funny

This whole topic stinks of "Colbert Report"

Edited by ride_exchanger, 02 February 2007 - 01:48 PM.

The main difference being that Stephen Colbert is intelligent and funny, whereas Tyler can't drive in the snow.

The main difference being that Stephen Colbert is intelligent and funny, whereas Tyler can't drive in the snow.

awww... Jellybeans. you're such a warm-hearted individual.

French comedy, it is weird and screwed up at times, I LOVE IT, ever seen the movie Amalie? Genious. I have seen the South Park movie (blame Canada one) and I loved it, it was hilarious, offensive comedy at is animated peak.

No, I didn't seen the movie called Amalie, I never heard of it. Finally someone who find têtes à claques funny.

Tyler^ Unfortunatly, degrassi isn't our secret. I'm living in Canada (sorry for the confusion everyone).

Tyler, let's see your French skills.

I bet Lucas would have a lot to laugh about at your expense.