General Chat / Rate the Family Guy quote above you

10+/10. The 1st time I saw that I was on the floor lmao, my eyes were getting all watery(Not crying obviously.) because of it. That was so funny.

Doctor: Contraband check. (Pulls out cookies.) What are these?
Cookie Monster: I don't know!
Doctor: What do you mean"you don't know"?
Cookie Monster: I-I-I-I don't know how they got there!
Doctor: Well I think you DO know!
Cookie Monster: NO NO NO UH DERICK, D-DERICK WAS IN HERE UH EARLIER HE WAS UH MAKING THE, MAKING THE BEDS, HE PROBABLY PUT THEM, UH, I-I WHAS IN THE JOHN, (eats cookies, guards hold him down and give him an injection) AHH AHH AHH! YOU-YOU GUYS ARE NAZIS MAN! YOU'RE FREAKIN' NAZIS!
Guard: Shhh! Shhh! Shhh!

lmao!!

yeah, that was pretty hilaroius. 9/10, especially since I didn't see it coming.



STEWIE: (speaking to a Latina maid) So which of the Latin countries are you from, the one with the civil war, the one with the cocaine, or the one with the fancy hats?

5.5/10

This isn't a quote, I have more of a question really.

Ok, so I was watching the episode where Peter tries to sell Meg to Goldman, I believe. It could be the one where Brian goes on the Bachlorette, though, as that one was on the same night. Anyways, I had only seen like the last 20 minutes, so I was watching it, and I saw possibly one of the funniest and most disgusting scenes in television history. Here's where my question is: Peter uses his tab at the pharmacy to buy ___ (my question is what is the stuff that he buys?) and distributes it to Brian, Stewie, Chris, and himself. He then says something along the lines of 'whoever is last to puke wins' some amount of money. And they all drink this substance, and are sitting there, and suddenly, Peter starts to puke all over the place. And then, Stuie says something like "oh my gosh", and starts puking all over the place. And then Brian is like "I feel fine. I don't feel anything at.." and then starts puking everywhere. And finally Chris starts to do the same. Following this, the 4 of them continue to puke on each other and all over the room for about 2 minutes of pure hilarity. It was so disgusting, yet I haven't laughed that hard in years, honestly. So, I'd like to know, what exactly are they drinking that makes them do it? Right when I was watching that part, I was distracted or something, and didn't catch it.

I heard "Epicac"

Not sure on the spelling, but that's what it sounded like.



It was the "8 Simple Rules of Marrying My Teenage Daughter" episode. And yeah, it was fricking hilarious. They basically took the Team America: World Police gag and quadrupled it.


EDIT:

It's Ipecac

http://www.emedicine...les/15743-6.asp

Vomiting: Vomiting will rid the body of poison only if the poison is still in the stomach. This is likely only for an hour or 2 after ingestion. After that time, the poison has either been absorbed in the stomach or has passed farther down the intestinal tract where it cannot be vomited up.

Syrup of ipecac is a liquid that, when swallowed, causes vomiting in 20-30 minutes. You should only give ipecac when told to do so by a medical professional. The following describes how to give ipecac, if directed to:

    * Give the victim a full glass of water (8-12 ounces) just before or just after drinking the ipecac.

    * Ipecac comes in a 2-ounce bottle. One ounce equals 30 mL; 1 tablespoon equals 15 mL, and 1 teaspoon equals 5 mL. The dose for adults and teenagers is 15-30 mL. The dose for children aged 1-12 years is 15 mL. The dose for infants aged 6-12 months is 5 mL.

    * If the victim has not vomited in 20-30 minutes, repeat the initial dose one time only.

    * Ipecac is sold without a prescription at most pharmacies. An unopened bottle will last several years at room temperature. It is a good idea to keep a bottle of ipecac at home for a poisoning emergency.

It's been a while since I've looked, but I hope we haven't done this specific one before.



Peter: [hungover] This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum.

[Flashback to childhood, standing in museum looking at dinosaur skeletons.]

Peter: [as a child] Why did all the dinosaurs die out?

Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.

"I LOVE Journey!"

"And I LOVE when amateurs sing the lyrics!"

"But I hate baseball cards!"

I'm amazed no-one's quoted my favourite.

Foster Mother: Baby Stewie, say hello to your new brothers and sisters!
Kids: Ola Stewie! Nihow Stewie! *click click* Stew-ie!
Stewie: Good God! I've been adopted by a Benetton ad!

"I LOVE Journey!"

"And I LOVE when amateurs sing the lyrics!"

"But I hate baseball cards!"

9/10
randomly hysterical

I'm amazed no-one's quoted my favourite.

Foster Mother: Baby Stewie, say hello to your new brothers and sisters!
Kids: Ola Stewie! Nihow Stewie! *click click* Stew-ie!
Stewie: Good God! I've been adopted by a Benetton ad!

7/10
Not my favorite.



FCC Head: Gentlemen, we got 20 calls about the David Hyde Pierce incident, and as you know, one call equals a billion people, which means 20 BILLION people were offended by this. Needless to say, something must be done.

FCC Guy 2: Perhaps we should ask the chairman.

FCC Head: Good idea.

*they go to the chairman's office*

FCC Head: Uh, sir, we're wondering what course of action you recommend regarding the Hyde Pierce incident.

Chairman (Snakeyes from GI Joe): You've got to censor television, you fools! Now follow my orders!

*Snakeyes gets in his flying craft, crashes through the roof, and flies away*

3/10. The Gi-Joe part ruined that scene. The only part I liked was the 20 billion people part.

From the Wasted Talent episode:
Mafia guy: You come to me and ask me to kill a man I do not know. Now I ask you, why should I kill this "Count Chocula"?

Captain Crunch: Because that son of a bitch has been spreading lies! My cereal does not cut the roof of your mouth! With all respect.

I didn't really get that cos it's a you-have-to-be-american thing but hey. 6/10 I guess.

Following up from that:

Kid: I can't believe I'm missing Ronnie's party for this.
Mother: That Ronnie's a bad influence.
Father: Yeah, that little bastard sold me some really bad crack!
Mother: Stay out of it, Herb! You're not even his real father.

LOL.  So that's what the bleeped out part was.  Couldn't tell what the exact curse was.

In fact now this has been proven by Family Guy Vol. 3. I watched Petarded and got to that part, and the second bleep was shorter than it is on TV and after the bleep it has brain saying a drawn out "wad."

^^ good one mantis 8/10

Best Quagmire quote ever:

He walks out of the bathroom in his robe and is looking at the girl in his bed who he just banged. She says, "Glen honey, I have a question for you, what do you do for a living?"

And he says, "Hey I have a question for you too, why are you still here?"

And the theme song:
He's Quagmire! Quagmire! You never really know what he's gonna do next, he's Quagmire! Quagmire! Giggidy giggidy giggidy giggidy let's have sex!

Edited by ride_exchanger, 29 December 2005 - 12:43 AM.

8/10

Stewie: Knock Knock
Brian: Who's there
Stewie: It's your friend stewie, and he's always going to be there for you

7/10

I don't know if this has been done before but here it goes...it's when Peter has a flashback of having a "spiritual vision."

Peter: Oh my God. Brian! There's a message in my Alphabits. It's says "Oooooo."
Brain: Peter, those are Cheerios...

9/10

(I'll probably screw this up)

Stewie: Give me your keys, you're too drunk to drive.
Brian:No, no, no
Stewie: No, give .. me your keys..
Brian: No, ya ok. (gives stewie keys)
Screeeeeeeeeeeeeechhhh
(Crashes into Bar)
Stewie: Sssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh

7/10

--

http://www.break.com...milyguydoc.html

i love this whole doctor bit

I'm not opening that, but if that is the doctor bit from one of the newer ones, I'll give it an 8/10. That was pretty funny.

Quagmire: "Hey Peter. Do you happen to have a card for if you gave a girl VD?"
Peter: "Uh, yeah. Here. (slowly) Sorry I accidentally gave you Venereal Disease."
Quagmire: "...Accidental is all you have, huh? Ok, I guess I'll take it."

7/10

Here's the peanut butter jelly bit.
peant butter jelly time

8ish.

old, and maybe done before, but i don't feel like leafing through 6 pages.
"am.. am i suppossed to draw the penis?"
"am.. am i suppossed to sculpt the penis?"
"am.. am i suppossed to conduct with my penis?"

6/10 meh..

I'm going to mess this up but uh here it goes...

Peter: Hey Brian, I have a riddle for you. If a serial killer comes up to you and he has to kill one of your two kids, which one do you let him kill?
Brian: Peter, that's horrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one.