General Chat / Rate the Family Guy quote above you

9/10... but that's like three times that's gone up now.


TOM TUCKER: Because of an accident today at the Quahog cable company, all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program, so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the Lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets, how about you, Diane?

DIANE SIMMONS: Well, Tom, I just plain don't like black people.

CAMERAMAN: Hey guys, we're still on in Boston.

8.5/10.

I hope this hasn't already been said.

LOIS: Peter,why are we stopped?
PETER: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...
LOIS: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby!
PETER: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.

8/10.

Peter: Don't say "retard" Chris, we prefer to be called "little people".

Tom Tucker: Because of an accident today at the Quahog cable company, all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program, so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the Lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets, how about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well, Tom, I just plain don't like black people.
Camera man: Hey guys, we're still on in Boston.

Well Cork, It seems you too are guilty of reposting quotes. I just did that one.

Anyway...7/10 for the last one.


When Peter was a WonderTwin:

Jayna: "...form of--Hawk! Come on, Peter!"

Peter: "Okay, I'm coming. Form of--Jayna's tampon [hops in Jayna's purse]. And now we play the waiting game."

7/10

Peter: Here's to our neighbors. They may be black, handicap, or a heartless sex hound. But if it weren't for them, some smelly Hawaiians might move in.

Great one, haha. 9.

Lois: Peter, Stewie's covered with fleas.
Peter: Oh, that's nothing. Back then, I was covered with ticks.
Lois: Peter, this is not a contest!
Peter: Well it was back then.
(Switch to gold trophy that says, "Most Ticks 1965")

lol. 8 outta ten.


After a lousy day of fishing with the guys...

Cleaveland: I can't believe how bad the fishing was.
Peter: I know. All we caught was a tire, a boot, a tin can and this book of cliches.

5/10



PETER (watching picketers bearing signs that say "Free Tibet"): "Free Tibet! I'll take it!" (Runs to phone booth.) "Hello, China? I think I have something you may want, but it's gonna cost you....that's right--all the tea."

8/10, although for some reason I was thinking it was Stewie that said that.

Peter: So uhh, Mr. Pewterschmidt, the big race is tomorrow eh? Bet you're gonna need some strapping men to help you with your boat.
Mr. Pewterschmidt: Are you calling me gay?
Peter: No. No. I just; I just thought you might want some extra seamen on your poopdeck

lolol I remember that. 9/10

(Roughly)
Doctor: We'll have to wait until the disorderly comes around.
Brian: Don't you mean the orderly?
Doctor: No, the disorderly. That's just a little joke that we doctors have around here. Get it, because they always make a mess? Heh heh.
We also like Kevin Pollak.

5. I never got that joke.

Chris: Well, what about that time she strangled our other sister?
Lois: Chris, we already told, that was just a really bad dream.
Chris: But I remember it so well-
Lois and Peter: It was a dream!

5/10


Brian: All great artists took drawing lessons.

Peter Griffin: Even Walt Disney?

[Cut to Walt Disney drawing Minnie]

Minnie: (crying) "Do I, do-do I have to?"

Walt Disney: "You wanna be a star, don't you? Then take it off!"

[Minnie takes her dress off while sobbing]

Walt Disney: "Yeah, yeah, that's nice."

8.5/10

Peter, trying to convince everyone Luke Perry is gay:

Peter (spilling drink on Luke Perry's shirt): Oops, sorry I just spilled some drink on your shirt. You know what get's out stains good? Sex with a man.

8, but it's sex with another man. and i'm pretty sure it's already been used...but that's why i use quotes from next week's episode.

Brian: Look, Bonnie, why don't you stop with questions...you're ruining everyone's good time. Like Peter did when he used to entertain terminally ill kids.
****
Peter: Hi there, how y'all doin? SO I'm at the DMV the other day, loong lines, long lines at the DMV. But uh, you'll find out all about that when you're olde---*awkward pause* uh...moving on! So I finally tried Viagra, and---

Terminally Ill Kid: Ooooooooowww

Peter: Oh look, we got a joker in the audience here! You got something you wanna say there, Mr. Heckler?

Kid: Dying hurts.

Peter: Tell me about it. So who hates flying?

hehe...

7/10



Brian Griffin: (walks into the room) "What are you watching Peter?"

Peter Griffin: "Passion of the Christ. I tell you Brian, I can't believe that this guy's just lying there taking it. If it was me I would have done something."

(cut to Peter as Jesus being whipped by a Roman Guard)

Peter Griffin: "AAHH! AHHH! AAAAAHH! AAAHHH! HEY!!! HEY! Hey! Hey. Stop it! Stop it."

Roman Guard: "Okay..."

Peter Griffin: "Okay?"

Roman Guard: "Okay..."

Peter Griffin: "Alright."

9/10, great quote.

Lois: And you know what? I'm gonna take that chance my father never let me take when I was younger. I'm gonna become a model!
Peter: Hey, that's fantastic, Lois! And I'll pleasure myself to your photos.
Chris: Me too!
Meg: Me too!
Peter: Oh! Oh! God! Meg! That's sick! That's your mother!
Meg (shrugs): I'm just trying to fit in.
Peter: Get out! Get out of this house!
(Meg doesn't move. Peter punches wall.)
Peter: I SAID GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE NOW!
(Meg runs out and Peter closes the door.)
Peter: That's a good about your modeling, Lois.

Eh, 7.

Peter: You know why I married you, Lois? It's not just the rack, or the caboose. It's that big sexy brain of yours.
(Peter starts licking Lois' head while she laughs sensually)

6.5/10

Meg: Please go out with me, I'm just trying to make Neil jealous...I promise I'll pay and everything.
Boy: Yeah, uh, that sounds cool but I'm gonna be in the hospital that night. <shoots self with nail gun>

8/10

Funny stuff.


Jim: What did you just call me???

Huck Griffin: I... I thought that was your name.

Jim: That is OUR word! You have no right to use it!

Huck Griffin: Hey hey hey, I'm cool, I'm cool, no problem!

[pause]

Huck Griffin: So, could you pass me the oar, 'n-word Jim'?

Jim: Thank you.

7, but it's funny because of Stewie, like, Stewie makes everything funny.

Adam West: We invited Jesse Jackson to open us with a prayer. But...he couldn't make it. So we invited Latoya Jackson instead.

Latoya Jackson: Um, hi. Rub a dub dub. Bring on the grub. Yay God!!

Adam West: How very innappropriate, thank you.