General Chat / Rate the Family Guy quote above you

I think Stewie isn't a very funny character.

Oh Sir Reginald.........


I DISAGREE! *speeds away in a car*

Driveby arguement, huh? LOL 9/10

how about this one:

Tom Tucker: "Bit of breaking news, we now go live to Diane being a bitch. Diane. "

Haaaa 7.5/10

Security Gaurd: This is where we monitor all of the dressing rooms
Quagmire: Oh my god, that woman's having a heart attack!
(Quagmire runs into dressing room. He rubs her chest, and breathes into her mouth. The woman wakes up.)
Other Woman: That was amazing, you saved her!
Other other woman: Thank god you know CPR!
Quagmire: What the hell's CPR?

7.5/10

Pretty funny.


I'll post the official one again, since I didn't actually mean the drive-by argument to be rated.




STEWIE: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta propelling protaganist? Yea? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.

4/10. Not really that funny.

Peter (running for President of the school board): I'll make sex education fun!
Cartoon character: Vagina junction, what's your function? Eatin' up sperm and spittin out babies!

That's one of those moments where the first time I saw that on the show I could not stop laughing, but seeing it quoted in text doesn't have the same effect. 7/10

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, "Oooooo."
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

lol... always a great one. 9/10


PETER: Have they ever shown him doing somebody in and then feeding on him?

BRIAN: You're asking if they've ever done a Sesame Street in which the Count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance.

PETER: Yeah.

BRIAN: No, they've never done that.

Maybe it was funnier hearing it? 6/10

Tom Tucker: Because of an accident today at the Quahog cable company, all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program, so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the Lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets, how about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well, Tom, I just plain don't like black people.
Camera man: Hey guys, we're still on in Boston.

6/10.

Corkscrewed: 8/10. That was hilarious.

Peter: She was with some guy going, "Bam bam bam bam bam!"
Brian: Uhh...Peter? Uhh...
Peter: Hang..Hang on I'm not done. "Bam bam bam!" And she's all, "Oh yeah oh yeah." "Bam bam bam!" Wanna take it from here Bam Bam?
Bam Bam: Bam bam bam bam bam! You wanna take it from here Emeril?
Emeril: Bam!

come on, that was done before. but now that i've seen it it gets a good 8/10. I was laughing pretty hard during it.

(I forget most of it )
Peter: talking to the jury thing about smoking. and I've got two very strong words for you. Come on, come on.
Jury: ok, ok, yeah ok.

Hmmm...I'm not familiar with that one, but I think you may have ruined it none the less. 3/10

This is my favorite from the last episode:

Meg: Finally, look Mom I've had it. I'm not babysitting anymore. It's Saturday night I could be out having a life.
Lois: Meg, if you don't wanna babysit anymore that's fine, but don't you stand there and lie to me.
Peter: OH-HO Meg, she torched your ass man! She torched your ass.

LOL. Yeah, that was pretty funny. 8/10

STEWIE: And I thought we were gonna go all the way and die together like Hitler and Eva Braun...

flashback

HITLER: Ve do everything together, ya?

EVA: Ya.

HITLER: You got your poison?

EVA: Mmm

HITLER: Okay, vone... two... three...

Both almost put the cyanide into their mouths, but stop.

HITLER: You didn't do it!

EVA: You didn't do it eitha!!

HITLER: Okay, okay, vut zis time we really have to do it. Okay, okay, ready?

EVA: Okay.

HITLER: Okay...

BOTH: Vone... two....

Same suicide feint.

BOTH: Ahhhhhhhh... ahahahahahah haa!!

EVA: You vant me to kill myself but you're not going to! You suck! You suck!

HITLER: You suck!



Really, you gotta watch it, cuz the descriptive text interrupts the flow.

I remember that one. 8 outta 10.


I might screw this up.


Peter: Hey Al Gore, what's your friend's name?

Gore: Dick Army.

Peter: Psssh, ahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha. No seriously.

Gore: ...Dick Army.

Peter: Psssh, ahahahahaahahahahahaahah. What's your wife's name, Dick? Vagina Coast Guard? Hahahahaaa... oh man, come on guys get in the care. We're going to a skin bar.

8/10 Pretty good stuff.



Peter: I hope this isn't a ripoff like that breakfast machine I bought.

Cut to peter in his kitchen activating his breakfast machine. A ball rolls activating a series of devices soon reaching a balloon attatched to a string attached to a gun. This pulls the trigger and shoots Peter right in the arm.

Peter: AAAAHH!! WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THAT?! THIS JUST SHOOTS YOU IN THE ARM! IT DOESN'T MAKE BREAKFAST AT ALL! AAAHHH!

8.9/10

Stewie (to Jeremy, the babysitter's boyfriend):
Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn teether sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!

7/10. Pretty funny.

Peter: Hey Mort, do these suppositories come in other flavors?
Mort: Peter, are you eating those?
Peter: No, I'm shoving 'em up my butt. Of course I'm eating 'em!

eh...7/10

Stewie(to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

4/10.

Peter (narrating his life): "I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life. (Lois knocks Peter out.)
I woke several hours later in a daze."

We did this one already.

But that's a solid 10/10. Absolutely gut-splitting when I first saw it.



CHRIS: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?
PETER: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.

Lol. 9/10. Peter does some pretty wierd, and possibily sick, things.

Guy on Airplane: "Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby."
Stewie: "What did you just say?"
Lois: "Stewie, stop fussing."
Stewie: "Pipe down Lois." (Slaps guy on head) "Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, your my bitch."