General Chat / Rate the Family Guy quote above you

... Yeah, it is.

I shouldnt be posting late at night when Im tired...

Stewie: Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside.

It's the way that he says it...the "and I die a little inside" is what gets me every time...lol

Agreed. 8.6/10


CHRIS: "I don't have to listen to you! You're just a dog! You don't have a soul!!!"
BRIAN: "Owch."

8.2/10

Stewie: "Ye and God said to Abraham 'You will kill your son Isaac'. And Abraham said 'I can't hear you. You will have to speak into the microphone'. And God said 'Oh I'm sorry. Is this better? Check, check-check. Jerry pull the high end out. I'm still getting some hiss back here.'"

Wow, confused why nobody else dug up that. 9.

Lois: Well, I guess you learned a very valuable lesson.
Peter: Nope.

eh....5.9/10

Lois: Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different.
Stewie: Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankels behind your ears that would ring a few bells.

eh. 4.

Peter: I quit [or something along those lines].
Lois: Peter, you can't quit, the big meet's tromorrow.
Peter: *Laughs* you just said 'big meet.'
Lois: (While laughing) oh yeah, I did. You almost missed that one.

I thought the ^^ Stewie quote was pretty funny. As for the above... 6/10

PETER: heheheh... doody. heheheh... diarrhea. Hey Lois! Diarrhea!
LOIS: Oh ho ho hoho! Peter, I'm carrying iced tea!

6/10

Doctor: Uhh Peter that's not a growth that's your penis.
Peter: And the...
Doctor: Testicles.

meh, 7/10. But that reminds me of...

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, "Oooooo."

Brian: Uh, Peter, those are Cheerios.

8.5/10



Geppetto: "Oh no! I dropped my glasses. Say... Pinnochio, I noticed a cookie missing from the cookie jar last night. Did you take it?"

Pinocchio: "Yes papa. I'm sorry."

Geppetto: "Are you sure? Because I'd believe you if you said you didn't."

Pinocchio: "No papa, I wouldn't lie to you."

Geppetto: "You could try... who knows, you might get away with it."

Heh...8.

Peter: Come on, Lois, let's get the hell out of here!
Lois: You're just gonna give him the film?
Peter: Lois, don't worry. There's a dog turd in there, but by the time they find out we'll be long go--
Mel: There's a dog turd in here.

eh, kinda funny....6/10


Stewie: I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up."

that was kind of funny. 7/10.

Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.

Gross, but funny none the less. 8/10

(Lois finds a note in Chris's pocket)
Lois: "Huh, what's this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pocket. She's more respectful than that."
Stewie: "Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch."

8.5

Peter: Lois, a boat's a boat. But the mystery box could be anything! Why, it could even be a..a boat! We've always wanted one of those!

Lois: Then why don't we just take the--

Peter: We'll take the mystery box!

8

Reporter: Uh, Mr. President, why do you think that the American public continues to support you throughout these impeachment precedings?

(Moves to Clinton holding a Martini)

Clinton: Uh, Probably cuz your so fat!

Well, pretty good. 7/10.

Stewie: Hey Paco, grab a mop! For God's sake, somebody get Patches the hell out of here before he decides to bend a fresh biscuit on the conveyer belt.

meh. I don't remember that one. 5/10.


(I'm not sure if this is exact, but it should be close)

Peter: Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happend to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard.
Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter: I drift in and out.

8.5/10 I love random spouts like that.


This is when Peter goes to the trailer park to steal back his Christmas gifts he accidentally gave to charity.

Brian: You're really going to take back donated presents on Christmas Eve?
Peter: Yep, now here's the plan: You'll enter thru the air contitioning duct here. Now there'll be an invisible laser grid three inches from the floor, so you'll have to compress your body to the size of an ordinary household sponge and slide underneath like some kind of weird amphibious dolphin.
Brian: (speechless for a moment, then...) Can I buy some pot from you?

That was great! 9.5/10

Brian: Well Peter, you've finally got the whole neighborhood working together.
Peter: Yeah, and you knows what's wierd? I haven't brushed my teeth in three weeks and no one has said a thing.