General Chat / Rate the Family Guy quote above you

6.5/10




PETER: "Aww man! I hate Trivial Pursuit, it always makes me feel so stupid."

BRIAN: "More stupid then that time you locked your keys out of the car?"

(Cut to Peter inside the car with his keys lying outside his car door.)

PETER: "Damn it! Hey! Hey! Somebody! Hey! Sir! Sir! Sir! You see those keys there? Sir! Si-!"

(man walks away)

PETER: "Screw you!"

(Sticks a bent straight hanger out of his window and trys to catch the keys on the hanger. The wire coathanger falls.)

PETER: "Oh wanaaahhaahaaa!"

haha, 7

Two softball players on opposite teams:

-Hey, want some gum?
-Yeah, sure! *pops gum*
-Haha! That's trick gum! Now you're addicted to heroin!
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
...I'm cold..

Ah yes! 6.87 (sorry...I hate whole numbers)

Dunno if this one has already been done yet, but it's been in my head all day:

Peter: "Lois, look! I'm the two symbols of the Republican party! An elephant and a fat white guy who's afraid of change!"

Eh, not very funny. 4.5.

Brian: I didn't wanna say I told you about not being a genius and all, but...YEAH, IN YOUR FUCKING FACE, FUCKWAD!!!!!
(pause)
Brian: I-I'm sorry.

LOL. So that's what the bleeped out part was. Couldn't tell what the exact curse was. 7/10


MEG: "You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me."

DEATH: "Well that would just leave England."

somewhat stupid but still worth a 6.

from a commercial for sunday's episode

Quagmire riding in a car crying...

I know there's someone special out there for me...*brightens up*
WOO! and there she is! *rolls down the window* hey baby! how much?!

the episode looks hilarious by the way.

Didn't see the episode, so...6.9.

[In a McDonald's at the front counter microphone]
Peter: Attention customers...testicles. That is all.

Decent. But kinda blah. 5/10


(Stewie's Letter)

Dear stupid dog,

I've gone to live with the children on Jolly Farm. Good bye forever.

Stewie.

P.S. I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. Umm, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm probably over the thirty day return limit but umm… I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. Umm.. It's actually not a horrible sweater. It's... It's just I can't imagine when I would ever wear it you know? Oh I also left a button on the bureau. I'm not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. I know that as soon as I do I'll find the garment it goes to and then it'll… Wait a minute, could it be from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm… Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again, goodbye forever.

P.P.S. You know, it might be a little chilly in London, I'm actually going to take the sweater.

From the new episode! -


"Can I say 'Hi' to someone?"

"Sure."

"Hi Jesus!"

"No way!"

(phone rings)

"..Yeah, I just saw it!"

You forgot to rate the above quote. But yeah, the "HI JESUS" gave me the biggest laugh of the night.

Eh, dunno'.

I'll probably get it wrong, but its from the episode where Brian has sex with Lois's father's race dog (I think).

Peter: Oh, thank you sweet Jesus!

Cut to heaven

Jesus: Hey, I didn't do that....

Buddha: Its ok, I'm used to it...

You forgot to rate the above quote.

lol.
Corkscrewed: 8. I thought that was so fucking funny the first time I saw it.
Steve: 6. but i never saw it.
CGM: uh.. 4. that one's not that funny.

Now.

Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting by a damn baby.
Stewie: What did you just say?
Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, your my bitch.

an easy 8, but you left off the best part...

Guy: Ah great, i always end sitting next to a damn baby!
Stewie: What!? What you'd just say!?
Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
Stewie: Not now, Lois. Hey big man, turn around (slaps guy), if you got something to say, say it to my face....oohh, you can't here me now! Alright, that's it, i was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next five hours you're my bitch! Waaaaaaa, waaaaaaaaaaa. My ears are popping and there's no way to console me, i'm hungry and possibly teething. Maybe i'm wet, who's knows? I'm a baby. Waaaaaaaaaaaa, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

------------------------------------------

Oh, for a new one, umm... short and sweet:

Stewie : nothing says obey me like a bloody head on a fence post

Easily one of the best quotes. 10.

(Stewie is in "Real World"-type confessional room)
Stewie: I sometimes wonder--if all women are this difficult, but then I think think to myself, 'My God. Wouldn't it be wonderful if I turned out to be a homosexual'?

lol. 8/10.

This one involves Tom Tucker's (the news presenter i think?) son with the upside down face...


Upside down face kid: Hey Dad! Everyones staring at me!
Tom Tucker: Their just jealous son...

-X-

Again, somewhat funny. 6.5.

Peter: Citizens of New Quahog...today comes a new age. A chicken in every pot, and a cap in every ass!
(Peter holds out gun pointed sideways and waves it around)

Eh.. ok. 6/10


This one's hit or miss IMO.


STEWIE: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta propelling protaganist? Yea? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.

I think Stewie isn't a very funny character.

I think you try too hard.