(Archive) Advertising District / WALT DISNEY ESCAPE, in Spain [fine... here...]

That was a very entertaining tour of the boat ride. The screens looked great, and the theming (and hacked boat ride) kept me looking around to make sure that I dind't miss anything. Congrats on finishing another section.

That was excellent. Very well executed and presented, and I'm sure you know presentation means everything.

Ha ha.

That was great Cork, i loved every little screen you post there (except the nile one) and the tour was exellent.

I really hope you keep the speed your going with this up.

Presentation was great!
Screens were aswell except for the first one. I hope you'll be adding water to the station instead of the dirt land. I really like the the 'under attack' screen.

I hope to see a download real soon.

Lol..entertaining read Cork. All the screens look great this time around. I have no complaints. Well done.

Very nice and a creative way of presentation. My only complaint is the station looks quite messy and sloppyin that last screen...try to clean that up a bit to make it look better.

corky, dude, that was the funniest thing i've read in a while.

though, i remember from my last visit to Disney, when i rode the Jungle Cruise, the jokes sounded awfully similar to the jokes you used in your little skit.

Good job.

"Oh no! Those of you on the right, watch out! We're under attack by some natives!!" *ducks while making flying spear sound effects* "By the way, if any of you get hit by a spear, pull it out and toss it back unless you want to pay for your souvenir."

JUST LOL!

Corc this is again a great piece of work!

That was some pretty funny stuff Cork. Well done. However, as DF said, maybe you should use water instead of dirt under the boats in the station. And, the station itself does look a little sloppy. Given what you have to work with though, this truly is a great piece of work. It's gotta be hard not using any custom scenery but you've done an excellent job.

The exit is on the right side of the boat, folks, and as you get off the boat, please watch your step and mind your head. If you miss your step and hit your head, watch your language, Disneyland is a family place."

lol

That was hilarious. Like Steve said, it reminded me too much of the actual lines the tour guides say.

I'm glad you're making more progress with this because I can see some great ideas in there. Can't wait for the download, because there is no custom scenery, and therefore the download will be small. And also it's great.

That last line was ridiculously brilliant. Screens were good too. Well done.

That was some pretty funny stuff Cork. Well done. However, as DF said, maybe you should use water instead of dirt under the boats in the station. And, the station itself does look a little sloppy. Given what you have to work with though, this truly is a great piece of work. It's gotta be hard not using any custom scenery but you've done an excellent job. 

Yeah, I noticed that after I took the screens and fixed that. I also did a bit of work on the station afterwards, so no worries.

Thanks for the feedback. If the jokes sound familiar, it's because most of them are the ones I remembered from my many trips aboard the Jungle Cruise. Except the cabin part, of course, since there is no burning cabin in the Jungle Cruise, but since I loved the burning cabin on the Rivers of America (well, it used to burn anyway, not anymore), I transplanted it here!

This is great!

I love every single bit of it... commentary as well. Brilliant job... hilarious stuff.

Wow cork this park is looking incredible. I'm also glad to see you updating it more often.
You must be the most active parkmaker on the site ATM, and you keep amazing us more and more.

Finish this. Please.

Awesome. The "deNile" joke was exceedingly lame, but wonderful other than that.

you have to call the tiger Evil WME, of course. Don't forget that. It's details like that that carry parks to a better status. Actually, it's that particular detail that usually makes parks better. yep.

Walt Disney Escape proudly presents...

The JUNGLE CRUISE




"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the World Famous Jungle Cruise.  My name is Albert, and I'll be your strip-- I mean skipper today as we brave the treacherous waters of the jungle aboard the Uganda Lady.  As we leave the dock, be sure to wave good-bye to the people on shore.  You may never, ever see them again... muahahaha!  Of course, you've probably never, ever seen them before...

Anyway, we're now entering the tropical rain forest.  Feel that refreshing mist in your face?  Yeah, it's amazing how many types of airborne diseases there are in it..."


"Oh boy, we're going to start our cruise off a little on the wild side.  Hang on to your seats!  We are no entering the dangerous white-water rapids of Kilamanjaro!"


"And we're now leaving the dangerous white-water rapids of Kilamanjaro!"


"Now, over to your left is the majestic Bengal tiger, one of the most ferocious creatures on Earth!  The Bengal Tiger can clear over twenty feet in one jump, but fortunately, we're only ten feet away from him, so he'll soar right over us!" 


"I'm gonna take you by the log cabin my buddy Larry likes to use when he needs a peaceful place to write.  He's always loved how it's--oh.  Oh no!  This is terrible.  But you know, I'm not surprised.  Larry always had a fire for his craft.  Sometimes, he'd get a flash of insight and burn the midnight oil writing away.  'Course, then again, he always wanted to go out in a blaze of glory...

...yeah, thank you to the three of you who laughed at that.  It's always good to have family on board."


"We're now entering the Nile River, the longest river in the world.  And if you don't believe me, you're in de-Nile.

And if you all look to your right, you'll see... absolutely nothing."


"Ah, here we are at the amazing African Veldt.  Look at all the animals!  Monkeys... giraffes... rhinos... and look at the pack of lions!  They're protecting that sleeping zebra!  Awwww... isn't that cute?  That's right, zebras love to sleep like that, tongue hanging ou, neck twisted in that awkward position, pieces of flesh ripped out to the side...  I'm sure he was dead tired anyway."


"And here we are passing the famous Schweitzer Falls, named of course for that legendary explorer, Dr. Albert Falls."


"Hey!  Look at that crocodile to the left!  What a mean creature.  Does anyone know how to tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?  No...?  Yeah... me neither."


"Wow... well, over there's that lost safari we've been hearing about. They've obviously gotten mixed up in some sort of local uprising. Well, bottoms up fellows, I'm sure you'll get the point... in the end."


"Over to the left, you might notice some of our more advanced animatronics, able to walk around, point, stand in single-file lines, and ask where the restroom is even though there's one ten feet away...

And over to the right, some bamboo.  Ya know, bamboo can grow up to six stories tall. I've seen it grow to seven stories, but that's a whole other story"


"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: the amazing, the colossal, the stupendous, the eighth wonder of the world -- the back side of water!

Yes, yes, I know it's not something you see everyday.  ...but I do."


"Oh no!  Those of you on the right, watch out!  We're under attack by some natives!!" *ducks while making flying spear sound effects* "By the way, if any of you get hit by a spear, pull it out and toss it back unless you want to pay for your souvenir."

(note: you'll see a better view of them on the next screen, but this is the only view where you can see the boat and the savages)


"Oh, and there's my ol' buddy Trader Sam.  Business has been shrinking lately, so if you buy one of his wares today, he'll have his wife make a fine dinner for you.  Yeah, I hear she's delicious..."


"All right, we're now coming back to civilization.  We've seen a lot of dirty and hairy things today.  Speaking of dirty and hairy things, Nick and Jennifer will help you out of the boat when we dock.  As for me, I had so much fun I'm going to go again!  ...and again... and again...

All right, we're here.  Get out. ...oh goodness, I forgot my manners.  PLEASE, get out.  The exit is on the right side of the boat, folks, and as you get off the boat, please watch your step and mind your head. If you miss your step and hit your head, watch your language, Disneyland is a family place."

"Now, over to your left is the majestic Bengal tiger, one of the most ferocious creatures on Earth! The Bengal Tiger can weigh up to 2,000 pounds and jump over twenty-five feet in one jump, but fortunately, we're only 20 feet away from him, so -that's right- he'll jump right over us!"

... is how I remember it

and yes, nearly all the captions are ripped straight from different ride operators, but that's the joke, people.

It IS the jungle cruise, you know. It wouldn't be the same without the exceedingly lame jokes.

you forgot 2 jokes though, corky

"and over here you'll see a couple of tucans... add one more and you'll have a six-pack!"

and the other one you forgot was the "they were having trouble starting the jeep earlier, looks like they finally got it to 'turn over'" joke.

But I replaced the jeep with a burning cabin. Plus there's no turned over Jeep scenery.


There are so many more jokes in the spiel, it's nearly impossible to go over them all.

(exiting the ride)
"Ladies and gentlemen, please exit off the side of the boat. If you find yourself wet, you got off the wrong side."

(African veldt)
"Here the lions have just made a kill on a zebra and are gathering around to eat it. Which points out the basic law of the jungle: never be a zebra."

(back of Schweitzer Falls at night)
"Hey look guys! It's Fantasmic!" *gets out flashlight and motions it around on the waterfall while humming the FANTASMIC! tune* "Some imagination, huh hah!"

(Python by the water buffalo)
"That snake must be a vegetarian. Four water buffalo within ten feet and he's attacking that tree branch."

(elephant bathing pool)
"Take a look at all the elephants. It's ok, they have their trunks on."

(randomly, where there's nothing)
"Sometimes, if you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of a baby hippopatomus calling to its mother..." *motions everyone to be silent and listen* "....HEY MA!"

And so on and so on...

haha. just took the time to read what it said in between the pictures. funny stuff.

Now record it and make it custom1.wav or something like that and add it right into rct! make sure you tell us what boat to look with =). .