Park / shotguns last hurrah
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28-July 19
- Views 2,031
- Downloads 555
- Fans 3
- Comments 8
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Description
I need to come clean. I need help. This is a last ditch effort for me to un-fuck my life.
I've played rct for about ten thousand hours, and another game for about seven thousand. That's over two years in hours of my life that I've given away. And I did all of this in the last eight or so years.
A quarter of the time i've existed, much less awake, has been dedicated to gaming. I've used it as a crutch, an escape. I remember nights I'd come home and fucking cry and the only thing keeping me from suicide was NE.
Gaming has robbed me of my imagination. I have no ambition or want to do anything in life anymore. Me in gaming mode turns me into a hypercompetitve, insecure, and honestly dangerously aggressive asshole.
I'm really a completely different person in real life.
Being really good at a decades-old, dead videogame is a massive part of my identity when it definitely shouldn't be. As far as this trend is going, I'll be dead before I'm 25. That isn't an exaggeration.
I have intentionally locked myself out of my New Element account. This isn't a rash decision; this has been months in the making.
Please do not make bets on how long it will be until I'm back. Seriously hope for my sake that I am never back. -
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You probably wont see this, and for your sake thats probably best - but I know you can pull it off.
The hours you spent in RCT just show how talented you are, and the artist that's inside of you. It's not just a stupid and brainless game. It's design making !
You could do amazing things in real life with those skills. Never forget that.
I wish you all the best, because even if sometimes you were an asshole with some people, I know you're a great guy inside.
Julow
the work here is inspirational. the "slip like freudian save" is unreal to me. whether you see this or not, I hope you're able to find what it is you're looking for in this life.
anything that keeps you ticking away is a valid use of your time, but i trust that you're making the best decision for yourself. i hope you find a muse that suits you better!
Sad to see you go but if it's for the best then health obviously comes before RCT. It's interesting seeing this unfinished parks park, given that Shnups released one fairly recently that's also in a very similar style. It seems like a really hard style to execute and I agree with Julow that this is really good design.
There's a lot of effort, quality, and scale here that can probably translate well to real life... You definitely have a great imagination.
Although I've already said it on discord, the highlight of this pack was 'slip like freudian' which seems part myst, part naboo, and part fever dream. That sprawling structure and the blue roof tile sky(?) surrounding it is just beautiful. I love the usage of the ferris wheel objects, it's overall pretty amazing.
Teenage dream was similarly weird, wild, and artistic... really like it. The various Asian-themed saves were impressive as well, I liked the sand lines at the rock garden in "i want to die" and the chinese fantasy park was beautiful, kinda gave me, idk, turtle vibes and the ice maze in the water was cool.
The scale of a lot of these parks is pretty immense and I think the time you put into them is commendable. "Testing grounds 2" is another save I really like... the LL-into-RCT2 is a neat idea; kinda feels steampunk and industrial for some reason.
Thanks for sharing this, there's a ton of cool stuff that shows real talent and I hope to see you move on to bigger and better things in the future.
I won't comment on particular parks here because I think thats not the point. A lot of them feel like an artist really at the boundary of their medium, pushing as hard as they can and I can feel the frustration and inspiration in them. In that sense, they still have merit as "art" even unfinished, like sketches that put you more into the artist's shoes during creation. There's some amazing rct here, some amazing ideas, and a real feeling of nostalgia and struggle. Thanks for one last glimpse into her rct. Cheers to shogo, I wish her the best.
I sincerely wish you come back, I have always enjoyed your work.
Real good luck, all the best.
the "communist daughter" one is really awesome, would be lovely to see something like this planned out, russian realism should be a thing
"i want to die" is the best go at an asian scene i think, next level
these all have a theme of building up or maybe you just like doing that idk